Many years ago my pastor made a statement in a sermon that I have never forgotten and it has served me well over the years. He said “Parents, your children will never love you the way that you love them!” He did not say that our children will not love us at all, he did not say that our children will grow up and not be appreciative of us…he simply said that they will never love us in the same way as we love them. I think what he meant by that was that they will never possess a love that has the same intensity, the same unselfishness, the same depth that their parents have towards them. After having raised four children to adulthood, I have to say that I completely agree with that statement.

 

Please do not misunderstand me…I have wonderful children who love my husband and I, they have brought much joy to us, we are very proud of them, yet would they give their very lives for us? I highly doubt it, and I think that is normal. I wouldn’t expect them to. I know in my heart however that I would throw myself in front of a train for anyone of them without blinking an eye and they would also do the same for their children and therein lies the difference.

 

Parents, you will spare yourself much heartache if you can remember that statement and say it over and over to yourselves...MY CHILDREN WILL NEVER LOVE ME IN THE SAME WAY THAT  I LOVE THEM- it’s a simple truth and a definite fact. If you can know this and accept this as parents, it will help you to not be crushed by an occasional insensitive remark or action that even your adult children will hurl your way now and then. Some day they themselves will be parents with adult children and they too will experience and understand that their sons and daughters cannot possibly comprehend the depth of love and devotion that they have for them because their children in turn have not yet raised children.

 

And so the cycle goes….it is just the nature of things. Parenthood is a wonderful, joyful experience yet there are unexpected hurdles and challenges along the way. You will at times feel unappreciated, dismissed, insulted, and taken for granted and it is not because your children , whether they are still living at home or all grown up ,do not love you. It’s simply because they do not love you like you love them nor will they ever. They simply don’t have the capacity because they did not help to create you or birth you.

 

This may be a new and stark concept for you to grasp mom and dad, but it’s an important one. Let it sink in, chew it over and most importantly, allow it to help you. You will be a happier parent and person once you wrap your mind around it and know it to be true.

 

Just another of life’s lessons that I have learned through experience…and it doesn’t bother me. I just smile because some things in life are just like that.