“ Mothers and daughters are closest when daughters become mothers.” – author unknown


This quote may be unclaimed but is certainly not unwise. I never truly understood my mom until I became one myself. The only sad part about that for me is that when I was now “mom”, my own mother was no longer alive. I lost her as a teenager but have not forgotten her love, her sacrifice, her expressions, the smell of her shampoo on her hair when I hugged her and her many phrases and admonitions that she used in every day life. She had dark hair and beautiful blue eyes with lashes that would flutter rapidly when she was upset with my brothers or me. She was uniquely selfless and I have always felt ripped off to put it bluntly that I lost her so soon in life. Just cheated.


I never enjoyed the woman to woman, mom to mom relationship that I know we would have shared had she lived long enough for that to happen. She never saw any of my children. It sounds strange but some of the hardest times emotionally for me are when I see moms out to lunch or out shopping with their kids and their mother. This just happened last week. In the next booth was a mom who looked to be in her mid forties or so with her teen aged children and her own mother. They were all joking and teasing with each other. I felt that pang that I sometimes feel…..just a hurt that I never had the joy of watching my own mom be with or enjoy any of my kids. Life happens though and some things cannot be changed.


Before this begins to sound like a pathetic self pity party however, let me point to the silver lining. I am the mom that I am today because of the mom that I had growing up. I never truly appreciated the mother that I had until I myself was one and it was amazing how terribly smart my mom became when that took place. Funny how that happens.


I know that if she was still here today we would be extremely close. It makes me look forward to that day years down the road when my own daughter becomes mom to my precious grandbaby. She is at college now and will be flying home for spring break tomorrow morning. At nineteen, she is transitioning from girl to woman and I am still very much needed in the mom role in terms of advice and guidance. Some day soon however we will be close as friends in a way that we have not yet known and I look forward to that time. She will still be my daughter but Lord willing, we will share the common bond of a mom’s heart someday and that will be a precious thing.


Are you a daughter ? Are you a mother?  Are you the mother of a daughter who will soon be called “mom” herself? Then get ready….your hearts will be knit together in a way that they have never been before and that is a glorious gift. Never take it for granted will you?


Proverbs 23: 23,24 – The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.