Our daughter just started college this fall and she is having a ball. She has now been there just over a month and we have received just one “down” call if you will which is not so bad. She is a confident, outgoing, extrovert and so my husband and I were not really expecting her to be experiencing too many homesick days. In fact, she recently said to me on the phone “Mom, I love college, but even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t want to come right back home… I would need to do something different with my life.”  I am not certain what that means and frankly, I am fearful to ask since she briefly entertained the idea of joining the Marines this past summer…and then she came to her senses !  (ha)

 

One bit of information that she has shared with us about some of her experiences there on her college campus is the manner in which some young guys today begin to get to know her. She has shared with us that some will approach her and smile and begin talking to her as young men have been doing for years, and will ask her for her cell number. She is beginning to notice a trend however amongst the young men of today and it is one that is of concern to me. She has related to us that if she is inclined to give her number to a guy, that often once he has her number, much of his communication from that point on is through texting. Some of these men will ask her to meet them, or ask her to do something with them but it is all through texting. It is almost as if the option to text has allowed young men of today to skirt around the forthright manner of face to face asking a girl for a date. Sure, sometimes it can be be a butterflies in the stomach, nervous experience to personally approach a young lady and begin talking with her but guess what? That is the way it is supposed to be! My husband and I feel very strongly that any young man who does not possess the character and guts to openly and personally approach our daughter is not worthy of dating her or any other young lady for that matter. In fact, we have told her that if the favorite method that a guy chooses to “talk” with her with is through texting then she should run like the wind away from him…simply scratch him off in her mind. Some of you may be reading this and be thinking “Oh c’mon, it’s no big deal” but I beg to differ. Folks, as I wrote in an earlier blog a few months ago, so much is missed when the sole manner of communicating is texting, particularly in the area of guy/girl relationships. One cannot hear inflections or tones through texting, one cannot see facial expressions, body language, or hear hesitations or pauses when answering questions. You cannot hear the chuckle or see a smile or a frown …just so much is lost. Am I saying that texting does not ever have its place? Of course not as we all know that there are some times especially in the work force, the business world, and several times in general that texting is less intrusive and more convenient.

 

In the social arena of dating and young men and women getting to know one another however, I just think that texting is providing an easy way out for the male gender. Quite frankly, it is making them cowards. It is just so less threatening to type out “Hey, wanna meet somewhere and do something?” to a girl instead of actually physically approaching her and asking her to her face or even by picking up the phone and calling her. I mean, good heavens….if they called, she might actually hear the nervousness in his voice that he is feeling and after all, that would not be “cool”. Forgive me if I sound a bit sarcastic and coy…that is not my intent but is more indicative of just growing weary of how our technology is causing us to lose something in our culture today. Not all, but many young men have lost the art of meeting a young girl, courting her, and winning her heart. Instead, they only know the safe and silent world of typing to her. How sad, really when one thinks about it.

 

Have you ever given much thought to this subject? There are hundreds of readers who follow this blog so I have no idea of who may be reading it today. Perhaps you are a young person yourself or the parent of a young person and you just have never thought about texting in this way. If not, give it some thought and perhaps begin to reach for the most excellent way to communicate for either yourself, or for your son or daughter.

 

In the dating world, texting truly is for cowards!