Daughters are such fun creatures…let me explain why. Our daughter who is a freshman in college is on the other side of the country in California. My husband and I send her cute little cards letting her know how much she is loved and missed. What she especially likes about this practice is that we occasionally slip a twenty dollar bill inside. That little green piece of paper is just a nice surprise that makes life a bit easier for her and she appreciates it.


What is so nice and different about our daughter is that we get cards in the mail from her also with a written message thanking us for the cards and the money. Perhaps that is not all that unusual except for us, since she is our only daughter after three sons who have all graduated from college, it is a new experience. Our sons were also grateful for unexpected money and cards as well and although I do not remember, I am sure that they thanked us on the phone , but we rarely if ever received a thank you note from them…and that is precisely the difference between sons and daughters.


During our daughter Kasey’s highschool years, it was not unusual to come home and sometimes find that dinner was cooked, a dessert made, a pretty little centerpiece on the table with little notes written for my husband and I saying how much she loved us. She started surprising us with these little dinners when she was in about ninth grade and I was floored. After three ruffian boys who only gobbled food but never prepared it, her thoughtfulness overwhelmed me. I literally sat and cried the first time that she did it for us. We have fabulous boys that we are so proud of but the only thoughtful thing that they ever did service wise for me as their mom while growing up was to maybe throw their dirty clothes in the hamper now and then instead of tossing them on the floor. Pretty normal behavior I would say for most sons. It is not that they don’t love us, they were just not thinking of ways to surprise us in extra sweet ways. Now that they are grown men, that has changed as they have helped us with yard work, home projects and various other ways during these most recent years.


 Another glaring difference between sons and daughters is their ability to remember special days. I think of some of my women friends who have celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. My friends who have grown daughters tell me about the huge surprise celebrations that their daughters have planned and thrown for them whether it be a birthday or anniversary party. They talk of the great lengths that their daughters went to by organizing some sort of great get together complete with friends, decorations and surprises. I remember about five years ago when we were out to dinner with one of our sons and he was telling us about the 25th anniversary celebration that his wife and sisters had thrown for their parents. When he got finished telling us about it, he looked at my husband and I and inquired “Hey, when is your guys’ 25th anniversary?” We looked at him said “four years ago”. He seemed puzzled and said “Really? How come we didn’t celebrate it?” We replied “Because our oldest kids are all sons”. Were we offended? No..it’s just life with sons…they are not thinking like daughters. I really can’t complain too much though…because we actually did go out to dinner with one of our sons where he gave us a “Happy 25th Anniversary” card…the only problem was it was our 31st anniversary. Do you think I’m joking? Trust me, I am not…but I am smiling because that is just how our boys are. We were all swimming in the pool this past summer and somehow the subject of birthdays and anniversaries came up and I impulsively asked my sons what was the date of my husband’s and my wedding anniversary? I got three different answers…ho hum, yawn…so goes life in the Hastings’ family..ha ha.


On the flip side though my sons tease me, put their arm around me sometimes when we are walking along, they make me laugh and tell me that they will always be there for me to help look out for me should anything ever happen to my husband. Those things all mean the world to me, they really do. Those promises give me a feeling of safety and comfort that a daughter could not provide. So am I complaining? Absolutely not…just understanding and enjoying the differences between my sons and my daughter. Each has their own special strengths and ways of delighting me as their mom. I am just so thankful for having  had the opportunity to enjoy both experiences.


I am a grateful and blessed mom !