All of us experience something almost every day of our lives. We disagree with someone over an issue. The trick is after we are finished with our disagreement, are we still friends ? Do we still like each other? Is there still respect in the relationship ?

The answer to those three questions above should be a resounding YES !

Sadly however, that is not always the case.

If you are like me, you feel passionate about many things. Your faith, your family, your convictions, your politics are all areas that you are intense about. You care ....a ton about them. That passion however can also be our downfall if we are not careful. As I have heard others often say - We need to keep in mind that our " disposition" is more important than our " position."

Think about it - If you emerge as the "victor" in a discussion or argument, yet you have been unkind or rude and impolite while stating your view, who really benefits ? Absolutely nobody. The person who you were having a disagreement with may walk away realizing that you made many good points but if you were angry or unkind in any way, you will not have reached their heart. In fact, the result is often that you will have caused that person to further dig in their heels and become resentful towards you.

This principle is especially true in parenting. We can instruct and share truth with our kids yet alienate them while doing so. Let's be honest...our kids can trip our triggers , particularly during the teen years. How we talk and express ourselves with them can either soften them or add another callous to their hardening heart. As our kiddos were growing up I realized how my words went further and landed better when spoken in a gentle way as opposed to letting my irritation cause me to be harsh. It is a challenge to communicate in a constructive manner and more easily said than done.

Our country is hugely polarized right now and much of the animosity that is felt between the right and the left is due to this very issue.....disagreeing improperly. Name calling, sniping, degrading one another seems to be common practice in the political arena of our nation and where has it taken us ?  Not to a good place, that is for certain. Never have the parties been more alienated and distrustful of each other and rarely has our country been as sharply divided as it is today.

While this is unfortunate, how much more damaging is it when that takes place in our communities, our churches, our families, our personal lives ? It is both sad and unnecessary when folks let differences drive wedges between them. How can we prevent that from happening ?

When disagreeing, remember to -

BE KIND
BE COURTEOUS
BE DETERMINED .....to remember that your DISPOSITION is more important than your POSITION :)

Disagreements....just a part of life. But it is worth it to do it the right way.

Give it some thought

You will be glad that you did :)