First Correction Then Affection

May 24, 2016

  Are you a parent, a teacher, a coach ?
  Are you someone who has children in your care and under your authority ?
  If so, you understand well the frustration that those little lives can create within you.

  They can make you yell, scream, moan, and pull your hair out.
  Ideally, those are not the reactions that we strive for but is sometimes reality.

  Hopefully as the adults in kids' lives, we admonish, scold, correct, and punish in a calm and controlled manner.
  My question is, what next ?

  After the time out, or the lecture, or the spanking, what follows but is often neglected ?

  The answer is ......a healthy dose of affection !!!

  I remember well my teaching days. I loved teaching third grade. I always said it was the perfect age because eight year
  olds no longer needed their shoe laces tied or their noses wiped, yet they had not yet reached the testy preteen age either.

  However, third graders like all kids will still test a teacher at times and when that happened, it required me to correct them.
  Sometimes that meant I would be stern in the way that I talked to them, Other times it might mean a loss of a privilege or
  some other penalty that was part of our discipline system at the school. Whenever this happened though, I was careful to
  ALWAYS follow up shortly afterwards with a key ingredient in winning the students' heart.

   What is that key ingredient ?


   If I just had to scold Johnny for not doing his work because he was fooling around talking to his classmate, I would then
   make sure to walk by his desk and tousle his hair a few minutes later. He would look up at me and I would give him a wink.

   Such a small gesture but what did it convey ?

   It said " Yes, you messed up but I still love you"
   It said " Yes, you didn't obey but you are still okay in my book "
   It said " I had to correct you but that is now past and let's move on "

  You can believe that when a teacher communicates those thoughts to a student, she has won his heart.

   If this is true in the teacher - student relationship, how much more so in the parent - child dynamic ?

  Parents, if you have to discipline your child please grab a hold of that little one or not so little one and draw them close to
  you afterwards. Give them a hug, hold them tight and tell them that you love them and that you forgive them. If they have
   been crying from the correction that you administered, help them blow their nose, wash their face and squeeze the air out
   of them with the biggest bear hug you can muster.

  Why is this so important ?

  Because it expresses forgiveness, it shows compassion, it heals the hurt.

  Most importantly it shows that child a picture of God.
  Because that is how He deals with us.
  He is firm, but kind, and always, always forgiving and loving.

  This may be tough to do sometimes because you find yourself so angry and irritated with what your child has done.

   Do it anyway.
   It is an essential element of proper discipline.

   Did I always follow through with affection and do it always right ? Hardly ! Not even close. I tried to but sometimes failed.
   Wish I had though.

    Remember.....CORRECTION then AFFECTION

    I like that those two words rhyme. It helps us to remember then to apply the second one after we apply the first.

    Do you want to win your child's heart ?
    Then always remember the second part !

    You won't regret doing so !




The Importance of Humor !

May 18, 2016

 Life is not a breeze.

 If we are all honest, we know that life can be downright difficult at times.
 Simply put, it can be -


Hopefully this isn't what life is like for the majority of your time that you are conscious and functioning.

For those times that it is though....what one ingredient can HELP in a HUGE WAY ? What one element when interjected into the midst of quarrels, arguments, frowns, and tears ....can alleviate the pain and the angst ?  ...

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I Woke Up and Saw the News and Then Promptly Slammed my Head Against the Wall !

May 13, 2016

 Did we ever think that we would see the day ?
 Did we ?
 The day where the president of the United States is blackmailing school districts all over the country with thousands of dollars of funds if the schools do not allow boys into the girls restrooms and locker rooms and visa versa ?

 Here is my question...when and where does the lunacy stop ?
 At what point do we scream ' enough ?'
 Does something called COMMON SENSE exist at all any more ?

 I believe that it does, but we are literally lettin...

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Back By Popular Demand - Late Night Streaker

May 11, 2016

Posted by Pam Hastings on Thursday, June 4, 2009 Under: Humorous

     When our family bought our house some sixteen years ago, the nice young couple that we bought it from were the original owners. They had lived in the house for five years and were quite proud of the fact that not just them, but that all of the other families on the street were also the original owners of their homes as well…the point being that everyone was obviously very satisfied and...

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The Danger of Jumping to Conclusions

May 9, 2016

If you are breathing right now, you have had the experience of someone jumping to a conclusion about you.

 If their conclusion was positive and favorable, then chances are you we're okay with that.
 If their conclusion was negative and inaccurate, chances are....not so much.

If I have learned anything in my almost 60 years of living, it is that we cannot possibly know what others are really thinking.
We may assume, we may suppose, we may arrive at conclusions about another's thoughts and motive...

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Parents - You Know Your Child Better Than Anyone !

May 4, 2016


 Parents - May I ask you a question ?

 Who do your children live with ?

  For most moms and dads out there, I think the answer for most of you will be that your kiddos live with either their mom, their dad, or both parents. So let me ask you something....who knows your children more intimately than anyone knows them ?  

 The answer is the person that you see in the mirror.

 While this might seem like an obvious conclusion to all of us I sometimes wonder if it is. Why do I say that ? Becau...

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A Night That We Will Always Remember

August 13, 2015
t t
 Just two nights ago my husband and I were completely surprised by our all of our kids ( which to us is our kids and their spouses ) with a surprise 40th anniversary party. When I say that I was completely shocked, that is not an understatement. The big lie that they told me to get me to come to the restaurant was that we were all meeting for dinner to celebrate my birthday which also had been the day before. That sounded reasonable so of course I had no clue that the bash planned was...

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Consider the Moon the Next Time that you Look at It

July 8, 2015

The moon at night is a perfectly formed circle to our naked eye, is it not ?
I know that if we were up close, it would not actually be a perfect sphere yet from down here it appears that way.
Even that to me, is amazing.

If our entire universe and all of creation was formed by some cataclysmic, random event 
like a huge explosion out of nowhere
a super haphazard, meaningless " big bang "
what are the chances that the moon would look like it does ?

Have you ever thought about that ?

I have


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Are You Raising Resilient Kids ?

June 3, 2015
Building <b>Resilience</b> in <b>Kids</b> - (cool) progeny
Past blog entries of mine have touched on the topic of not over pampering our kids but I do not recall ever writing specifically on the subject of resiliency. Yet my fear is that it is something sorely lacking in parenting today and perhaps this blog is needed.

When my husband and I were raising our kids, we wanted to always stretch them. We wanted to push them. It didn't bother us really to see them in an uncomfortable situation or predicament and to see h...

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Showing gratitude Where it is Due !

May 19, 2015
Police Officers

We live in weird times. Weird because we seem to glorify and emulate celebrities, movie stars, pro athletes and anyone who is rich or famous. Sad.

The people however who should be receiving our praise, thanks, and recognition are instead being attacked and criticized. We are an upside down world and this is evidenced no more clearly than in the present climate of how police are being viewed in our nation today.

Are there a few bad cops out there ? Of course. Just like there are a few bad teach...

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